STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
