Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
