dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
