And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
