im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
