the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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