my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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