everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
