you guys were way drunker than both of me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
should my penis look like a turkey
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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