She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
