Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize