dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
