took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
