I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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