It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
