So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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