Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
