Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
