what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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