I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
