having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
