Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
