Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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