Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
