I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
