Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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