She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
