We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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