Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize