Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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