I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
