out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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