It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
