I'm lost and stupid without you.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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