he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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