hotel room ftw
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
