Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
