A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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