I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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