Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
