what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I wish there were birth control emojis
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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