I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
