Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
