I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
