On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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