Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
