But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
