your room smells of hookers.
And success
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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