I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
