i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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