i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
