Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
