I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
