There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
