direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I want her autograph on my taint
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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