I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
