Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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