I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
